October 2009
1 post
Oh hai!
No, I’m not dead. No I haven’t quit the Internet completely (just mostly).
After not posting here for two months I’m surprised to find that my tumblarity is 300% higher than I expected it to be.
August 2009
4 posts
Dear Google,
Can you please develop a fantasy sports platform so I never have to use Yahoo! ever again.
I could really go for 100 cups of $3 coffee right now.
Signs of the recession
Arlington Gold’s Gym discontinues towel service. Fortunately as we all know “Arlington Girls” don’t sweat.
An “Apples to Apples” faux pas:
Green card - haunting
Red card - Michael Jackson
(too soon? I don’t care, I won the point)
July 2009
26 posts
Adderall and Ritalin can make me focus...
…but can they make me care about what you’re saying?
It’s All About the Benjamins
...
Dear The Internet,
Please don’t come and mug me in my sleep.
Arlington is...
…dressing your 7 year old in an “Apple Camp” shirt and taking them with you to the gym.
“Cheez-its are proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy”
– Benjamin J Franklin, total chick magnet/U.S. President
I'm trading in my Chevy for a...
Well technically my Ford for a Mercury. I’m going to shamelessly post my craigslist ad in a few.
Apparently my mom is cooler than I am
I thought I was on the bleeding edge by getting midnight tickets to Harry Potter tomorrow. Come to find out my mom and sister are at an advance screening in FL. FAIL.
A good concert is...
…when the music stays with you long after your ears have stopped ringing and you’ve killed your hangover.
“Fuck you! Sho’ ‘nuff!”
– Harry Potter, “Harry Potter and the Goblet Of Fire (Director’s Cut)”
Dear everyone who left during "Candle in the Wind"
Please turn in your, passport, driver’s license, library card, costco card and varsity letter at the door.
Dear people in front of me at the Biily Joel/...
Die.
OMFGWTFBBQ!!!!!1one
Billy Joel is playing guitar on “We Didn’t Start The Fire”!
Epic Taco Fail
I can’t believe it….the Bell in Van Ness doesn’t have the Cheesy Bacon Potato Burrito. Weekend = ruined.
The gf is out of town, so we all know what that... →
…Friday night dinner at Taco Bell.
I'm totally winning the Internet
On’veIn Twitter, I’ve now got twice as many followers as people I follow.
No, I don’t see any problem with using a sample size of less than 10 people.
Shark = Jumped. I'm now on the twitter. →
Guys, I finally gave up and joined the twitter. Follow me…or not.
Note to self: never apply sunscreen to legs while...
Because if you do and then sit through a baseball game your unprotected knees will be the color of boiled lobsters by the 7th inning.
In case anyone needs me at 12:01 am on Tuesday the 14th, I’ll be busy.
June 2009
11 posts
FML
I just got a $25.00 parking ticket while I was at the ATM depositing a check for $25.00.
Bureaucrat, Grade 34
Due to work, I now regularly interact with a government bureaucrat from Jamaica, who still has a strong accent.
So far he has not used the phrase “sweet (animal) of (place that rhymes with said animal)” or compared the current operational environment to a green snake and sugarcane - but I’m hopeful he will.
Just got back from a weekend hiking on the...
No, seriously, I did! Why does everyone always laugh when I say that?
Arlington Girl
Only you would put on a dress and oversized sunglasses just to go walk your dog.
For the record, there’s nothing wrong with 3 straight dude sitting around watching Jon and Kate + 8, as long as they’re eating BBQ and drinking domestic beer from cans.
B3
If I could redesign Disney World, it would be more like the Beer, Bourbon and BBQ festival.
There are two kinds of people on the metro
Those with iPhones
And
Those with service
10...
…Is the number of unique individuals who have emailed me the link to the Arlington rap in the last 12 hours
Real life < Vacation
“If your drinking interferes with your work then you’re an alcoholic, if...”
– Me, posted from my iPhone from the gym because I was at work too late to go to Kia’s birthday.
May 2009
22 posts
Vending machines...
I’ve already noted how there’s no coffee in this office, leaving the vending machines in the basement as my only way to obtain my caffine fix. Turns out the machine on the left won’t take my state of Georgia quarter and the one one the right will accept GA but not Massachusetts. This kind of makes sense because the machines themselves look like they were built during “The...
This is going to kill my Internet social life
I’m at a secure client site without teh internets. This is going to be rough. I’m accustomed to starting my day with certain rituals…checking for woot shirts, catching up on lolcats and fails of various flavors. That combined with no coffee in this office building is going to make me supremely intolerable. I thought depriving your employees of unrestricted Internet access and...
Faustian Bargain = Made
Yesterday I decided to hook my iPhone up to the corporate email system. While this will allow me to look like I’m working during a two hour lunch or when I’m at the gym, it will also mean that I will be working while I’m at lunch or at the gym.
Lincoln or Optimus Prime?
drawing-cowboys:
fuckyeahabelincoln:
indian:
the following quotes were spoken by which great leader?
“It is [our] duty to give protection to citizens, of whatever class, color, or condition”
“Freedom is the right of all sentient beings”
“Those who deny freedom to others, deserve it not for themselves”
“Fate rarely calls upon us at a moment of our choosing”
“The fate of...
It bugs me that...
…Google maps on my phone automatically knows where I am, but the one on my laptop doesn’t.
